Fantasy Land

Fantasies are fun. While I may daydream about doing various sexy things with DB, I generally fantasize about stuff I would not ever do in real life, no matter how much wine and chocolate is involved. Case in point: a threesome, that supposed pinnacle of male sexual fantasy. Now, given enough really really good wine and chocolate, I might go for kissing a girl, but that's about the extent of it. I'm very possessive about people, and sharing my guy IRL would not work in the least. However, in my head, it plays out like the best-edited porn you've ever seen.

In a fantasy, I don't have to concern myself with reality (or physics). I'm the bendiest person you've seen since the circus was in town -- and so is everyone else. Mostly it's either about both of them doing me, or me and the girl servicing the guy, depending on my mood. I like the thought of being sandwiched between the two of them, the girl's strap-on in my cunt, and a man's hard cock filling my ass from the other side. Or I'm laying spread-eagled and tied up on a flat St. Andrew's Cross, the girl ordered to lick me until I beg for permission to come, while he jerks off on my tits, which she licks off at the end. Or we're in the executive suite, and she spanks my bare ass while I suck his cock. Or... you'll have to excuse me. Now that I've made myself all hot and bothered, I have to ... go do stuff ... wash my hair... yeah...

Watching gay porn does not make you gay

I found a question on one of those advice forum type web sites recently from a woman who snooped through her boyfriend's computer and found gay (guy on guy) porn. She was concerned about confronting him about it and wondering if he's gay... and a lot of people responded with "Straight men never watch that shit, your man is a fag."

Well, Dear World (and That Girl's Boyfriend), I have to tell you something. I watch gay porn too, and usually it's girl-on-girl action. And I have yet to become a lesbian.

See, human sexuality is a fun and fluid thing. Maybe he was curious. Maybe he was interested in some particular act or toy. But even if he likes it, even if he gets off to it, unless he does it right before going to boink another dude, HE IS NOT GAY. Granted, only he can tell you, but still...

Go confess that you invaded his privacy and found something you want to talk about, and don't do it in an accusing OMG YOU DON'T LOVE ME fashion, because if he really is gay and in the closet and using you to convince himself and/or others of his straightness, he'll just get defensive and you won't get anywhere. There's a pretty good chance that after he forgives you for doing something stupid, you'll learn that man-on-man action can be very hot. Maybe you can watch it together. Don't forget the lube!

Musical accompaniment: "If You Were Gay" from Ave Q

Math before bath

6' tall boy + 5'2" girl != fit in standard bathtub

You just can't do it. It don't fit. It was a great idea, and if we had one of those giant hotel bathtubs, it would have been a soapy good time, but... yeah, not so much. I fit, or he fits, with scrunched knees, but certainly not both at once.

Lesson learned: consider size of people to be put inside bathtub BEFORE attempting bubble bath

Change of plans (and sexuality)

Brilliant geek idea is scrapped because the Tshirt making is just too labor intensive at the moment.  I may use it for Halloween later on, but we'll see.  At the moment, my Halloween idea is Sally Bowles from Cabaret, but we'll see...  Anyhow, new plan is to go as a "freak" from the wardrobe I already own.  It's kind of a lazy way out.  Instead, the costume is going to feature purple fishnets, a super short black skirt with zippers, a black tshirt, and some black arm warmer type things, along with the appropriate over-the-top eye make up and spiky silver jewelry.  

***

"Is gay the new black?"  Well, I like to think so, but I live in NYC. The discussion on daytime TV today was about likening the gay movement for marriage to the civil rights movement of the black community.  A chunk of the argument of the anti-gay marriage side is that sexual orientation is a choice, and race is not.  They think gay people choose to be gay, and therefore immoral, wrong, etc etc.  The gays, of course, state that it is not a choice, they were born gay, and so forth.  Everyone's heard this before.  

I think human sexuality is a lot more fluid than that, actually, and we have plenty of examples to support that.  Look at Anne Heche, who got famous for being Ellen's girlfriend, and then when they broke up, got married to a man and had a baby.  I have a male friend who will tell you he is very very gay, and yet him and his boyfriend both used to make out with various girls in our social circle on a regular basis.  I'm not saying that makes him "less gay", but rather my point is that obviously there was something about women that turned him on as well.  After all, he enjoyed it.  

FYI politics: I am pro-gay marriage, on the same basis as everything else -- if it makes you happy, and doesn't hurt anyone else, go for it. Gay marriage does not hurt heterosexual marriage.  For more on that topic, see Lewis Black's rant from his "Red, White, and Screwed" show.  

How straight are you?

I am fascinated by human sexuality, and specifically by female sexuality and definitions thereof.  There has been more than one study that shows heterosexual women are turned on by SEX -- whether it's between a man and a woman, two men, or two women.  We (the self-identified heterosexual women) just want it to be hot.  

If you asked me about my sexual orientation, I would tell you that I am straight.  I have no real interest in sleeping with another woman.  Most of my girl friends would tell you the same thing.  However, that's minus alcohol.  Add a few drinks, and it's a different story.  I believe drinking lowers your inhibitions, giving you license to do the things you woudn't do sober, but would really like to.  In other words, you don't act out of character, you're actually way more IN.

FD has drunkenly groped my breasts on a number of occasions.  I don't think I ever stopped her.  I think I just giggled.  SQ used to drink tequila and proceed to hump and fondle my ass with very erotic regularity.  LB has wandering hands that frequently stroke their way around my shoulders, down my back, and up my thighs (two drinks in).  RL once kissed my ear and neck at a party in such a way that I almost swooned.  

And we're all "straight".  I'm just saying.