03 May 2009

Who has more orgasms?

This is a very serious question.  For the sake of argument, let's pretend you are with a long-term significant other.  In your average romp, who has more orgasms?  I'm not necessarily talking about being multiorgasmic, but more like -- if you're in bed for a while, with nowhere to rush, and you're going for more than "wham-bam-thank you-ma'am", who comes more? And does it matter?

DB and I spend, on average, at least 3 hours in bed together, having fun morning sex only occasionally interrupted by needs of peeing, drinking water, and feeding the cats.  In those three hours, I can come anywhere from 1 to 4 times.  Some of them are little, breath-catching orgasms, and others are I Can't Move For At Least 10 Minutes, Holy Crap, Brain Has Melted finishers.  On the other hand, DB really only comes once.  He doesn't appear to mind this disparity (as long as he gets his in a prompt and pleasing manner, demanding it in completely unsubtle ways, like "Do Me NOW"), esp. since it's coupled with the ego-pleaser of making his woman a satisfied, affectionate, grinning mess.  

I know of a different relationship where she does more than he does, and he's kind of resentful of it.  He thinks they should be equals and partners in everything, and ergo, have the same amount of pleasure.  And he's a guy, so he actually keeps score, but I'm afraid that it's going to eventually poison their sex life.  I tried to point out that sex should probably be a happy thing that you do for/with someone you really really like, and so there's no need to focus on this, unless the disparity is such that he is not getting his needs met at all.  

I don't really know what the solution to that is, except to carefully monitor and keep track of each other's orgasms.  And you'd have to be a real hyper-organized spreadsheet-loving pervert to think THAT is sexy.     

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